We spent a week in London. Here are some frequently asked questions about our trip.
What brings you to London?
The British Museum, mostly. A trip just to visit the British Museum is what happens when:
You visit Scotland and Ireland, and all the museum and heritage site interpreters tell you that all the cool stuff they found at this site is now kept in the British Museum,
You watch too many British archeology shows that send all their best finds to the British Museum, and
You hear about British homeowners digging around in their own gardens and accidentally discovering hoards of Roman or Anglo Saxon treasure that finds its way to, you guessed it, the British Museum.
The entrance to the British Museum hasn’t change much since this 1880 photograph.
Did you use “the tube”?
Yes we did and it was clean, easy and kind of fun.
Did you enjoy your visit?
Yes and no. Everything was much harder and less fun due to the crowds. I kept imagining that the crowds must be unusual, but if the miles of disney-like accordion-style tape barriers were any clue, this week was probably pretty tame, especially since it is October, after the summer season and before the Christmas season.
Queue up and disobey.
I also am aware that since I am from a small town in Oregon AND am of a rather dinky stature, my version of personal space is wildly different from that of people from heavily populated cities and above-average height.
Did you occasionally make screamy eek noises when jostled by strangers?
Yes.
Did that bother anyone nearby?
I’m pretty sure they either didn’t hear due to crowd noise or were in the middle of their own dramas.
What were your favorite parts?
Look! See?
NERD.
A day trip out to STONEHENGE. Be careful about asking me about Stonehenge. It puts you in danger of being in the blast radius of a spew of information about iron age technologies and culture. Did I tell you I watch archeology digs for fun?
I took a selfie with the Sutton Hoo helmet in the British Museum.
I saw three Van Goghs at the National Gallery (This was the day before one was targeted by an ecological activist group that has found that damaging art gets attention. Luckily the artwork was framed under glass, however the frame sustained light damage.)
There is a lot of history at the Tower of London. I would have enjoyed it more if it hadn’t been absolutely infested with people. The panic level induced by the absolute closeness of strangers made it less awe-inspiring. If you go, I highly recommend the free tours conducted by the Yeoman Warders (Beefeaters) who live and guard there.
I loved our hotel (The Montague at the Gardens, very close to the British Museum). We decided to splurge on accommodations and it was a good choice. At the end of a hard day of finding things to look at, we knew that we had a comfy bar, a delicious meal, and an absolutely deliciously comfortable bed to look forward to. Highest of recommendations.
Trafalgar Square has a real vibe to it that makes it better than its parts. There are statues. There are birds on statue heads. You can see Big Ben in the distance. There are people having mostly fun. There are street musicians. The National Gallery is looking down on it benevolently. I would have liked to spend more time there.
A Trafalgar Square lion plus a bunch of other Londony stuff.
What were your least favorite parts?
Did I mention the crowds? In the London episode of Somebody Feed Phil, he goes to a delightful little market filled with gourmet-style food stalls called Borough Market. It looked twee and delicious. I have been to my share of festival-seating-style rock concerts and have never felt so dangerously crowded as our trip through Borough Market. We couldn’t have actually visited a food stall if we wanted to, unless the crowd had accidentally thrown us into one. We were carried by the crowd through the market and deposited on the other side. If you go, try to do so early in the morning mid-week. I won’t go back at any time of the day or week because of the PTSD.
American Airlines. We bought our plane tickets way in advance when prices had taken a dip. After the customary travel website trial and error, we ended up with a flight from LAX to Heathrow by American Airlines. I have had some lousy flights in my time, including one in which I was seated DIRECTLY across from the toilets, but this one, in which we sat on a broken plane for three hours, then herded off the broken plane into an abandoned gate (at which the crew persisted in opening a door that set off an ear-splitting alarm) for two more hours, and then sat in seats that were at what seemed to be a less-than-90 degree angle for the entire 9-hour flight. The flight back was direct to Portland by British Airways, and despite the labyrinthine Heathrow trail onto the plane that included a. an elevator, b. a tram, c. a hastily built stairway with bonus wait time in said stairwell, and d. a bus, it was a dream of comfort in comparison.
Trying to sync the needs, interests, stomachs, abilities and expectations of two people for seven days straight. I only had one meltdown over the exhaustion of trying to be happy together continuously for a week in a strange town.
Crossing the Tower Bridge with 10,000 of my closest friends
Did you like London?
I might grow to like it if I lived there, but it is a little too big and compact for me. I think my favorite cities max out at about 500,000 population. 8.9 million is out of my comfort range. The things I like about it are the parks, the history, the fascinating ability its citizens have developed to be impatient and polite at the same time, and the tendency toward the whimsical.
Rowing an oversized boat in the Thames in October is whimsical if not life threatening.
Would you go back?
Nah. There are so many other places to see. Stay tuned for our next big adventure, as soon as we pay off the bill for this one.
Bonus photo of the Boudica statue, situated conveniently above a souvenir stand.