Why is This So Hard?
Having extra dogs over should not be a big source of stress, right? After reading up on best practices of dog boarders and Rover sitters, I was a little, let’s say, vigilant. Here are my top four fears.
Top Four Fears of Dog Care Professionals
Escape and Loss of Dog. (A) No fence is impenetrable and no leash guarantees that a dog respects it. (B) No dog is more stressed than when placed in a strange environment away from its owners. A plus B equals AB-scond I guess. Or AB-dominal distress. Rover requires (and I complied) that dog sitters remain outside with dogs even in fenced yards. Dogs are sneaky and good at jumping and digging.
Damage to owner’s dog. What if the dog gets sick? What if my dog bites it or playfully jumps on its back and breaks it? What if (like I read on Reddit) I take it for a walk in the heat and it drops dead of heatstroke or massive lymph failure? What if I turn around quickly and stick my pencil right in its eye? Anything could happen and bubble wrap is impractical.
Damage to my pets. Look. I’m well aware that my dogs can be annoying, especially to visitors, whether canine or human. A little too much yapping, a little too many sproings in your face, and you wouldn’t be out of line if you just took a little nip. But visitors can be a little overly combative as well and I would feel terrible if my choice of hobby/gig turned out to cause pain to one of my lil angels.
Damage to house. Too much social media has taught me that dogs can tunnel through doors and eat table legs like beavers. But experience has taught me that their most feared and effective weapon is the stuff they carry around in their bladders. They use it like smart bombs and the first few hours are the most dangerous. Again, vigilance is the only insurgency here. You see how tired my eyes are getting just listing this stuff?
Cooper
A gentlemanly game of chase.
Cooper was my first dog - a full size labradoodle whose owner came over from Salem for a day on the ski slopes. He was new to daycare so it was a bit of a gamble taking him on, but after about 20 minutes of refusing to leave the entryway he slowly ventured out and was soon playing with Ricky in the backyard. This was my dream! Happy dogs smiling and wagging like little gentlemen! This is gonna be a cinch.
Megan and Brad
Cinch over. My first overnight boarders were two English Springer Spaniels. I changed their names because I’m going to say mean things. Cue foreboding music. You know those Instagram videos where owners shame their dogs for doing something bad and the dogs give you that satisfyingly guilty look? Then turn their head away and maybe look at you guiltily from the corners of their eyes while maintaining proper shameful head-turn? That is a meme for a reason - we have all seen guilty dogs. But have you seen a psychopath dog look you dead in the eye after spreading garbage all over the kitchen floor? I have and its chilling.
Don’t look directly into her eyes, Ricky.
In the three days Megan and Brad stayed with us the first time (that’s right - the first time), they climbed up on the counter every time they were left unsupervised for ANY INSTANT, chased after the cat with the bloodlust of a badger, learned to open the lever-handled office door to gain further access to said cat, pulled on the leash so hard my hands ached, learned how to open the cupboard where the garbage is kept and helped themselves, and terrorized Rocket at mealtimes until he quit eating.
Megan and Brad’s owners are not newcomers to the area, nor are they tourists who needed vacationland help. The fact that they had to find a boarding situation for their two 45-pound cutie-pies should have alerted me to the fact that they are fresh out of friends willing to take on these two diminutive, floppy-eared hellhounds. I hope this doesn’t become a pattern…
Will it become a pattern, friends? Stay tuned to the next episode, coming soon!