What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

 Junipers Reservoir at the ranch. You can visit the Junipers Reservoir RV Resort at Junipersrv.com.

Junipers Reservoir at the ranch. You can visit the Junipers Reservoir RV Resort at Junipersrv.com.

  • Check the tires on your trailer as well as your tow vehicle. If they look like maybe you should change them before next season, change them this season.

  • If your tow vehicle is heavily sound insulated, perhaps because it’s a diesel truck, maybe stick your head out of the window every once in a while to listen for the screeching sound of naked wheels dragging on pavement.

  • A diesel truck can be so insulated to sound that you can’t hear naked wheels being dragged along rough pavement.

  • No matter how good your trailer mirrors are, you can’t see the back set of trailer wheels.

  • Cranky cowboys can get extra cranky and shouty when you unknowingly throw sparks along the highway with your naked trailer wheel during fire season.

  • Blowing a tire at 65 miles an hour can do dreadful things to propane lines that run under a trailer, oddly close to the wheels.

  • If you’re lucky, the blown tire will just clamp the copper propane line shut and not blow a hole in it, causing even more disastrous things to happen, especially while you are throwing sparks off a naked wheel.

  • One blown tire can mean no working stove, furnace or refrigerator and one limping air conditioner.

  • A week in an RV park without a refrigerator and with a borrowed, leaky cooler is a small but annoying inconvenience.

  • Sometimes, when you call a tire store and they say they have the tires you ordered so you drive four hours one way, they don’t have the tires after all, and you have to drive all the way back and buy the crappy tires at the local place.

  • Sometimes what you think is an allergy flare-up is actually a cold that lasts all week.

  • No matter how big your ranch house is, it will feel small when it is filled with new in-laws.

  • When a house is full of relations and relations-to-be, clean towels and wine become more valuable than cigarettes in prison.

  • If you have a backyard wedding at a ranch house of hosts known for their love of dogs and forget to mention to guests not to bring their dogs, you will have a wedding with 20 dogs.

  • All those cute wedding decoration touches that you got from Pinterest? Nobody notices them.

  • Wedding planners are more important than I thought.

  • No one can plan for a summer wind storm.

  • Pinterest decorations all blow away in wind over 20 mph.

  • $1,000 worth of flowers will stay in boxes in the house in wind over 20 mph.

  • I’m glad I don't have to plan or execute a wedding.

  • Every bride is lovely, but some* are more lovely than others. *My daughter-in-law, nine years ago this month, and my niece, last Saturday.

 The ranch house, painted last year, in simpler times.

The ranch house, painted last year, in simpler times.